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<title>cornflowers look like tears if you squint hard enough by askyzia</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779353">cornflowers look like tears if you squint hard enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/askyzia/pseuds/askyzia'>askyzia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Butterflies, Character Death, Kinda, M/M, Man/man, cornflowers, long title but i swear it’s good, read archive warning, realistic dreamnotfound</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/askyzia/pseuds/askyzia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a fic where a disease takes a life and others around need to cope.</p><p>
  <em> a few minutes later and the tubes are running throughout dream’s body. nurses run in and out getting machine after machine. somehow in the chaos george gets pushed out of the room, leaving george to another life he had to begin. </em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cornflowers look like tears if you squint hard enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it's a fine summer afternoon.</p><p>george shifts in his position, careful to not move his head from the warmth of his lover's lap. george glances up from the yellow blanket with cornflowers stitched on the side. it was a present from dream, to celebrate their third date since dream's friend nick said they weren't going to last. his boyfriend dream, smiles and reaches into a basket. george watches him pull out a butterfly clip, and tuck it into george’s hair. </p><p>“i love you george.” dream erupts into a fit of giggles watching george’s eyebrow raise. "no i do. i'm not kidding georgie." george rolls his eyes and looks around. “yeah yeah. i know.”</p><p>trees sway in the background and a smudge of pink glazes the sky. there’s a patch of cornflowers right by their spot. which is exactly why dream bought george that blanket. they happen to be george’s favorite flowers. their spot consisted of a hill right in front of the moon which always rose at 7. george loved staring endlessly at the moon, it’s glow filling his eyes with the warmth the night did not. </p><p>george and dream spent hours at the spot, even george considered it his other home. even when the world collapsed on him, he would tug dream’s white shirt and they would go. it was a relapse in the grand scheme of things. dream would pull him into a hug that had a passion george only got from him. that’s how the relationship went. george fell into those arms which held him up, wiped his tears, held him close and put butterfly clips in his hair. that was how it was supposed to end.</p><p>so when dream was diagnosed with copd, that all changed.</p><p>it didn’t start immediately. it began with small shakes then it was dizziness. one minute he would be up and running into george’s hugs then he’d be coughing leaning on objects to stand. george was determined to be there for dream like dream was for him. it was more difficult than predicted and much more lonely.</p><p>dream never talked about his thoughts or feelings with george, claiming “i don’t wanna be a burden george.” </p><p>so george never asked.</p><p>even as dream said he was fine, george couldn’t ignore the shaky breaths followed by silence late at night. their bedroom which normally was full of life became empty. the gasping for air was echoed throughout their wooden floors. it was painful to sleep next to dream every night. george would lie away at night stroking dream’s back, as dream did once to him. he would have done anything to take his pain away. when dream didn’t wake up one day, george knew it was time to get whatever was going on checked out. </p><p>dream was hesitant.</p><p>they were driving an old van owned by dream’s dad given to the couple as a gift. the paint was faded and the old leather wasn't quite what it used to be but it still gave george a cheerful ride every time he drove it. </p><p>“george, please im fine-” dream tried, as he’d been doing all morning. george had to beg him by tucking his grey sweatshirt and pulling him into the car.</p><p>george interrupts him. “dream look at you. you’re practically almost dead by the time we wake up every morning. plus it’s probably a cough. you’re being stupid, per usual. it’s your health not mine.” george tried lightening the mood and half smiles. he doesn’t get a response but instead a coughing fit.</p><p>george speeds up. </p><p>-</p><p>the hospital smells old but clean. it’s too white and quiet. uncomfortably quiet. george immediately reaches for dream’s hand. dream’s hand reached back instantly and squeezed. they lock eyes and george grows more worried. the reassuring dream once gave george faded quickly. seeing the look on dream’s face sent shivers down george’s back.</p><p>they wait for a lady named cara to make a reservation with the doctor. </p><p>she looks up at them. “first door on the right, and please use the hand sanitizer on the left side table. your doctor should be with you shortly.” she waves and turns back to her monitor. </p><p>george can't help but notice her hands on the “wasd” keys. odd.</p><p>-</p><p>the room was tidy with one big chair and one little chair. on the left was a table which held a tiny bottle and pens. on the wall was a sign with some inspirational quote that george couldn’t have been bothered to read. george watches dream take a seat in the light blue chair, and dream raises his eyebrow.</p><p>dream smirks “if you wanna sit on my lap just say so georgie.” </p><p>george’s eyes widen and turn to see a tall man with brown hair and glasses framing his face  behind him. he scrambles to the smaller chair and glares at dream. </p><p>the doctor clears their throat.</p><p>“hi there. im doctor darryl. what seems to be the issue?” he glances over george.</p><p>george answers with concern creeping up his voice. “we aren’t sure. i mean sometimes dream’s fine and other times he has these huge coughing fits. i mean it could be a cough but i wanted someone professional to check anyway.”</p><p>dr. darryl nods and narrows his eyes. he starts to pick up a machine and asks dream to blow into a mouth hole. george looks away just missing another one of dream’s smirks. </p><p>“this is a method called spirometry and it basically checks to see how well air passses through your lungs. please just blow as hard as you can into the machine.”</p><p>dream grabs the silicone tube and blows resulting in a coughing fit and reaches for his head. george looks away and the room fills with silence. seconds pass before the doctor grabs the machine and worry flashes in his eye. </p><p>george stands up and walks over to dream and collapses into his lap. dream whispers into george’s ear.</p><p>“don’t worry about me, ill make it george. it’s uh- it’s a cough, like you said.”</p><p>“it better be i’ll kill you if it’s not.”</p><p>dream raises his eyebrows. “you wouldn’t dare.” he challenges. </p><p>george laughs. “maybe i will, don’t test me blondie.”</p><p>“you did not.” dream replies and kisses george’s cheek. </p><p>george tilts his head up and messes with dream’s hair before he returns the kiss back. </p><p>-</p><p>45 minutes pass and the doctor returns with a paper in his right hand and 2 other nurses trail behind him.</p><p>he hands dream the paper and george reads off of it. </p><p>“diesese identified. expectancy to live: two years.”</p><p>no one really speaks until dream starts coughing again. </p><p>the doctor leads them to a room down the hall that's a lot less simple. tubes fly across the wall with pictures of the human lung scattered across. there are multiple cabinets that stretch between the back wall and right in the center is a bed. the sheets are white with grey pillows. that was all the color in the room. </p><p>a few minutes later and the tubes are running throughout dream’s body. nurses run in and out getting machine after machine. somehow in the chaos george gets pushed out of the room, leaving george to another life he had to begin.</p><p> </p><p>it’s been a couple of months. no progress has been made. dream’s doctor had said “we caught it early. he should be fine in no time at all.” that was ages ago. that legendary medicine dr.darryl prescribed hadn’t been working. everything george had wanted was falling apart. </p><p>even if george couldn't see dream at the moment he would wait. he would give time to the doctors. so that’s what he did. he waited for days until finally he was allower to see him. they had walked across the hospital’s food court hand in hand. </p><p>they made paper airplanes and sent notes in them. each one more dirtier than the last. dream now had to use a breathing tube but he still looked peaceful. </p><p>days flew by breathlessly and dream’s lungs started to fail him. thankfully george was allowed permission to see him. they never really talk much but all words are made up by hugs and kisses. </p><p>the thought of dream’s arms around him just like old times. that’s what kept george going. there was one visit in particular. dream had been whispering things into george’s ear and soon moved to rest his head on top of the brunette. george wasn’t afraid anymore. not of the disease, not of the loneliness, nothing. their hands entangled and warmth traveled from body to body. dream did very well that there wasn’t any coughing and he sounded great. the hope he was getting better returned. maybe he could come home with george. they could travel to the spot again. it wouldn’t be so hard to be happy anymore.</p><p>bullshit.</p><p>when george got the phone call the love of his life had passed, he was sitting on his couch drinking tea. it hadn’t quite reached him so he asked the caller to repeat it. over and over again. it wasn’t fair. he was supposed to have one more year with him. </p><p>tea spilt across the table onto the floor. tears fell and cries were heard. the receiver on the other side of the call asked what george wanted to do with the body. the body that he once put so much love into he thought he would collapse. he closed his eyes and half smiled. </p><p>“bury him under cornflowers.”</p><p>“pardon?”</p><p>george presses a button and his house fills with silence. </p><p>he was lost. no more hope or will to live. dream left without saying goodbye. it wasn’t a stupid cough. george spent hours on end scrolling through old texts and videos. sometimes he would call dreams old cell so he could hear his voicemail. he practically had it memorized.</p><p>“hey this is dream. im sure this is important but im probably with george right now so wait for the beep. bye!” </p><p>he looked at the stitching of a blanket and threw it across the room. george was holding back such a big sob he couldn't breathe. he sits up and walks over to his bedroom. he replaces his shirt with one of dream’s old ones. he picks the plain white one because dream wore that one the most. it didn’t matter it practically went to his knees, this was his now. he sat on the edge of the bed and put his hands on his face. </p><p>-</p><p>it’s been around two days. george had only moved to his bathroom. friends called to send condolences and family texted to see how george was. his phone buzzed constantly. he never answered them. he instead watched older videos of the two of them. his favoruite one was back from 2018. the audio was faded and george wasn’t even in frame but they were slow dancing. just the two of them alone. it was so long ago george didn’t remember why they recorded it. dream was laughing and george looked annoyed. he rubbed his thumb over dreams face. then he picked up the blanket outside his bedroom door and walked out the door. </p><p>george wasn’t looking where he was going but his feet knew the way. up the hill right across the moon. the day fading into night. crickets chirping and owls humming. he picked up a cornflower and squinted at his hometown. how small we all were and how quickly we could leave. there was a quick nudge on george’s shoulder and he turned to see a small little clip.</p><p>he hadn’t packed it or even thought about the plastic butterfly. memories flooded back. all the summer nights he had spent here in dream’s lap. he picked up the clip and put it in his hair. tears soaked his face but george was convinced dream had placed that stupid clip on the blanket.</p><p>trees still swayed in the distance and the night was young. kids headed into their houses while george stayed and watched the moon. he wasn’t alone even if he thought he was. dream sat next to him while george sat painfully unaware. </p><p>hand in hand they sat.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i started this fic february 4th and it’s now march 1st. not only did this take me about a month to finish but i had lots of bumps along the way. writing about a characters death and trying to make it realistic was different. i tried something new. lemme know how that went :). sending love and stay safe pls &lt;3<br/>twitter: skylovesgeorge</p></blockquote></div></div>
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